With Valentines day looming just round the corner, I thought I'd impart my thoughts and feelings towards love. Whilst I hate how commercialised Valentines day has become, and feel that you should present your love for others everyday of the year, not just because others force ideologies about this specific day down your neck, I do love the premise behind it. I think having a day to celebrate your love for someone is a nice idea, it's just that its initial meaning has been lost somewhere in the world of commercialisation.
For me, love has many meanings, as does it with most people; and whilst Valentines day promotes the showing of affection towards that 'special someone' in your life, I think it's important to make it about everyone you love. I know for many, Valentines day fills them with dread, resigning them to their bedrooms for a day filled with misery.... but it shouldn't be like that. Valentines day should be about celebrating love - and the whole concept of love - for everyone important to you (and even the love you have for yourself), and should by no means be a day to make people feel unloved or unworthy.
So, before I get into discussing what love means to me, I just want to say that you, you whose sitting wherever you are reading this post, you are loved, you are worthy and you should never doubt that - especially not because some annual 'holiday' dictates and stigmatises you as lonely if you aren't in a relationship!
I am so very lucky in the sense that I've been in a loving relationship for just over four years now. Dan is my best friend, and the person I share absolutely everything with. He knows everything about me, and I with him. We can be 100% ourselves around one another and I think there's something so incredible about two people being brought together in a way that leaves them so tightly bound, strong and actually better together than apart. It's almost magical, and a feeling that seems impossible to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it.
Before I was in a relationship, I could never imagine myself being able to be so 'real' and open with another person. The idea of putting myself out on the line and displaying all my flaws to them seemed terrifying. It wasn't something that just occurred instantaneously once I was in a relationship; it took time, bravery and the (may I say incredibly difficult) gradual acceptance that someone could love me as much as they say they do. Even now sometimes, I still can't quite grasp why I am so lucky to be loved so much by one person - and I know it drives Dan up the wall - but all I know, is that like I have to him, someone has given me their love and their trust. That is something that should never be questioned; but just accepted, enjoyed and treasured.
Of course, 'relationship' love isn't the only kind! There's another form of undying and unconditional love that most people experience throughout their lives. The love of their family and friends. For me, my family (especially my mom) are the most amazing people I have ever known, and without them, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be where I am right now in life. They've stood by my side unquestioning and unjudging through every aspect of my life... even when they were unsure or unhappy with my decisions. It takes someone amazing to just 'be there' for you no matter what; to put their opinions and feelings aside, and to just listen and understand how you're feeling and what is truly best for you. For that, and everything else they ever do for me, I am so very grateful.
Love is a wonderful thing in life, and something I think we all take for granted at some point. I just know that - as everyone says - life is too short, and we all deserve love and to be able to accept love and help from others. So if you do just one thing a day, tell someone, anyone, what they mean to you, because that just might make their day that little bit brighter!
Tanith
xx
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